My Blog Was Giving Me Anxiety - Brittany Comeaux
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My Blog Was Giving Me Anxiety

9:25:00 PM

If you noticed less of me in your social media or inbox the last couple of weeks, then today's post will be a quick recap of what I've been doing and why I've been laying low, lately.

I've talked in the past about my struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. It's been a life long annoyance that's always hanging over my head. It's just that it's very easy to ignore at times. And at other times it's all consuming. If you've never experienced a panic attack, I'll try my best to explain it. There are of course different variations and levels of severity. For me, It all starts with an "on edge" feeling. I'll be going about my daily activities and then seemingly out of nowhere, I'll have a moment of silence or rest and realize that my nerves are a little keyed up. Sometimes, this is as far as it goes. after 30 years, I've gotten pretty decent at stopping my anxiety here with breathing techniques and prayer. But there are other times, where that anxiousness feels like a runaway train that steamrolls right through my every rational thought.



My body starts to feel flushed. My chest tightens, making deep breathing feel impossible. I start shaking. Sometimes my muscles will cramp up, like a million charlie horses. But, the worst part of all, is what's going on in my brain. I don't really know how to explain it, because it's a completely irrational thought process. But, I start focusing on the fact that I'm about to die. If my stomach is hurting, it's because I have a rare form of cancer, or maybe one of my intestines was punctured, or my appendix has burst and I won't make it to the hospital in time and I'll die from complications. Now, I obviously know that my stomach hurts because I ate something that doesn't work with me. Or maybe it simply hurts because I'm nervous and now I'm caught in a horrible anxious loop. But, those rational thoughts are like a quiet whisper in my ear and "You are DYING" is being yelled at me through a megaphone. It's quite literally debilitating. When I'm in the depths of it, I literally can not move outside of shaking and crying.

I've heard it described in the past as your body's "fight or flight" response being triggered without reason. As in, I have a paper cut and my body reacts as if I'm standing in the middle of a busy highway with a truck heading straight for me. Usually, I'll experience one every few months and it will only last for an hour or so. But the last six months I've had one every month. And they have gotten progressively worse. Most recently I was stuck on the couch for 48 hours. Just glued there by an overwhelming fear.

So just like most illnesses, keeping them manageable requires taking care of yourself. Diet and sleep are two of the biggest factors that play into my mental health. I also have to take significant time to be alone, quiet and in meditation/prayer. All of these are things that I have been completely neglecting since I started putting more effort into my blog. I typically work from 9-2, manage the kids and housework/cooking until 8, Spend a little quality time with Jamy until he goes to bed at 10:30 then I could stay up as late as 2 or 3 working on blog posts. Then I'm back up at 6 to start it all over again.



So all of that is a recipe for disaster. And the schedule leaves no time for me to focus on myself or my relationship with God, which is where I find my biggest sense of calm. There's no wonder that my anxiety has been peeking this year.

So what am I going to do about it. The number one change I'm making is forcing myself to make quiet time in my day. Whether it's five minutes or an hour, I'm being more consistent with my prayer life which is a huge help. And the second major change I'm making is in my approach to this blog.

I've been very fortunate to surpass my financial goals for the blog this year. But, with my schedule being set up the way it is, I have struggled to meet deadlines for sponsored posts while also finding the time to just write about my life and anything that is deeply meaningful to me. And this leaves me feeling unfulfilled and stressed. So, I've decided to shift gears here, even though it may mean taking a pay cut. I want to take my time with putting out meaningful content and only accepting the sponsorships that I truly feel like devoting my time to. I feel like doing this will not only take some stress off of me, but it will also allow me to use my blogging time as a vehicle to flesh out my thoughts and indulge in some much needed "Me Time".

So what does that mean for you, the reader. Hopefully not too much of a change. But, you will probably see a few more pictures of my kids and a few more shots of me with no makeup. But that's probably for the greater good.

Anyway, I said that this post would be quick, and it was not! So sorry. But, thank you for being here and I hope you will stick around! Wishing you a merry and safe Christmas Holiday!


"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:17

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